A New Start
by Makami
Summary: Heero's been sick lately, and lying to everyone he can. Expecially Relena. He's near death and memories of his training keep haunting him. Can Relena save his sanity, and possibly make the Perfect Soldier fall in love?


This is such an old story for me. I wrote it years ago. October 1st, 2003, to be exact. Well, it's been a while, and since I'm trying to clear out an old account I dedided it was time to move my 'emotionally torture Heero' trilogy over here. Please give it a chance. This fanfiction is truly for people who want to see the 'Perfect Soldier' weak, scared, helpless(I know some fangirls do), and paired with Relena. Apologies in advance, I don't have the time to go through and edit it properly at the current time.

**A New Start**

It had been a long year for Heero. Within a month after the last war, he reverted back to his old self. He never saw Duo, or Relena, or any of the others. Two months later he found out he had cancer. It had been a moderate case, and he was given up to two years to live. He kept in touch with Relena though, through assorted chats, instant messages, and e-mail. But lately, he'd gotten so weak, even that required too much energy.

A knock came at the door.

"Umm...Mr. Yuy, there's someone here to see you," his in-home told him, peeking her head in. "Do you want me to let her in?"

'Her? It must be Relena,' he thought with a slight bit of anticipation. He had really wanted to see her lately, though he'd never admit it to her. "Yes, please let her in."

He watched as Relena walked in the room, her golden hair trailing behind her. Heero struggled to sit up, but he found it to be impossible. He didn't ask for her help; he forced himself to ignore her expectant look. Even being this ill he found himself to be quite stubborn. His in-home brought in his breakfast, and with a simple "I suppose you'll want your privacy" left it on the nightstand and walked out of the room. A tense silence passed between the two of them; Heero's trouble with breathing didn't help too much.

"Heero, why didn't you tell me you were this sick? You know I would've been here in an instant," she scolded, slowly making her way to his side. "You're so sick, Heero. Please don't be so stubborn, not being in the condition you are right now. I want to help you, and I'm afraid if you keep pushing me away, I'll leave you alone for good."

"I know," he replied breathlessly, sounding a bit upset. He looked away and felt his face heat up. 'God, how am I supposed to ask her this? I don't want her to think of me as some weak, pathetic baby,' he thought nervously before asking her a question he dreaded asking. "Could you... Could you please help me eat? I can't seem to gather the energy to sit up, much less be able to feed myself."

He was embarrassed, and Relena could see it; if not from the way he avoided eye contact with her, then from his blushing. His eyes were worn, and seemed to have lost the fire which had always blazed in them, that she loved so much, and there were dark black circles under them. He was skin and bones, it was obvious to her that he rarely ate much; even under his heavy blanket, all Relena could see was how thin he looked. His skin, well it was so pale, you'd have thought he was already dead. Relena nearly cried just looking at him. But one thing about him that hadn't changed yet, was his stubbornness.

"You're that sick, huh?"

"Relena," he started, unable to keep his voice from wavering. "Relena, I'm dying."

Heero gather up all his strength, and in a burst of energy, threw himself into her arms. He cried, and cried, he cried until there were no more tears to cry, but even then, he shook as if he were still crying. Relena held him tightly, as if letting him go would kill him. He had curled up in her arms, like a small, frightened child, and that's how she held him. His eyes threatened to release another round of tears.

"I want to take care of you, Heero," she whispered in his ear, giving him an assuring squeeze. Heero nodded and rested his head on her shoulder. "No matter what, I'll never be more than a phone call away. I don't care how late at night it is, where I am, unless of course it's an important meeting, I'll leave right away and come to your side. I promise you, Heero, I will never be further than a phone call away, and I'll always be close when you need me. No matter what, I'll take care of you. Of course I mean, if you want me to."

Heero inhaled deeply, slowly gathering himself back together. His body couldn't recover very well from such an outburst of emotions, especially not crying. He smiled as Relena held him, he felt safe in her arms, like he did after "killing" Mariemaia. In her arms he felt safe from all his past sins, all the death he caused - everything he'd done to harm others. It was like being forgiven for it all. He also liked the warmth that radiated from her embrace. She was gentle, but held him just tightly enough to let him know she cared. And the smell of her perfume, the sweet smell of almonds, infiltrated his nostrils and made him dizzy with happiness. He almost forgot the current illness he was suffering from.

"I want you to," he replied in a hushed whisper, hugging Relena with all his strength.

"Now then, since that's settled, how about getting some food into you? You must be starved," She leaned down a bit and kissed his forehead.

She helped him sit up properly in his bed, and then fed him. It wasn't as hard as she'd originally thought. Heero was more than willing to work with her. He tried to eat most of the food prepared, although he didn't seem to want to eat much.

After eating, Relena laid Heero down for a short nap as the in-home instructed for her to do. He'd been slightly resistant to that one, but sure enough, after a bit of coaxing from Relena, Heero agreed to rest. He'd forced her into an agreement to stay by his side while he slept, just in case something happened. He looked like a small child as he slept. Relena watched him with a smile. Heero woke up once, complaining of having trouble sleeping and roped her into staying in the bed with him.

"What have you been up to this past year?" Relena asked him quietly, since he wasn't going to sleep. She smiled at him, holding him in her arms once again.

"You mean besides staying inside and being sick?" he spat at her, getting angry at the question. 'What does she think I've been up to? Running around at work? With me being this sick, I'm lucky if I can sit up,' he thought bitterly. "I've done nothing, ok? Nothing."

Relena got up and left the room. She hadn't meant to make Heero angry, or to offend him, but she seemed to have managed doing so. Heero watched her get up with understanding. She hadn't meant to offend him with her question, but he had taken it that way. She'd been nothing but understanding and patient with him. He missed her as soon as her arms loosened their grip around him. He'd been such a jerk, but then what new about that? He was always being a jerk to her, and surprisingly she most always took the harsh treatment.

-- --

A few hours later Relena found herself in Heero's room once again. The in-home was trying to give Heero a shot of adrenaline, so he could do a bit more on his own. It was hilarious watching Heero's reaction to the needle. Who would've ever thought Heero was afraid of needles? The nurse had her fair share of troubles before she gave up and offered Relena a try. Heero wasn't quite as willing to flip on Relena as he was his in-home, but he still fought her. Relena tried her hardest to be gentle as she administered the shot, but Heero merely whimpered as if she'd been cruel to him.

"It wasn't all that bad, was it? I know you're not that wimpy, Heero, you're not afraid of a tiny little needle." Relena got in his face and stared him in the eyes. Heero looked away. This was of discussion he didn't want to go near. "What is it, Heero? What scares you about needles?"

Heero hesitated for a few moments, he considered how much Relena meant to him, and whether or not she was worth losing over it. He had a bad feeling about telling her why he was so afraid.

"When I was little," Heero began, curling himself into a tight ball. 'She'll hate me forever. Why am I telling her this? I know she'll hate me, but would it be any different if I didn't tell her?' he thought, weighing out his chances. "Dr. J would give me shots of something, and then he'd..." he began sobbing into her chest.

"He'd what, Heero? What did J do to you?" She pushed him to tell her what had happened to him. 'Please, tell me, Heero. I want to know what hurts you so much,' she thought as she stroked his head.

"J would touch me...He'd touch me, he'd touch me and there was nothing I could do about it. I felt so alone, no one would come to help me if I called for it. I was so scared. J never left me alone while I wasn't busy training. He'd come mostly at night and give me a shot, then he'd begin touching me in ways I didn't like," Heero tried forming proper sentences, but they wouldn't come out in anything more than fragments as he sobbed. "I know you must hate me now."

Relena held him tighter than ever. His confession to what J had done to him even disturbed her as if she'd experienced it herself. This secret Heero had been keeping all this time was finally out, and Relena hoped he'd get better. He was worried she'd hate him for it. But she could never hate him. The in-home had left the room after Relena gave him his shot, so she was the only one who knew his secret. She finally understood what the numerous nightmares the in-home had told her of were about. She was told how he'd toss and turn, and how he'd continuously call for her.

"Remember, Heero, you can tell me anything. I'll listen, and I'll keep your secrets safe. I won't ever hurt you like J did. Never, ever, ever," she promised him. "Thank you for telling me this one. I never want you to suffer, believing I would hate you if I knew your dark secrets. I'll trust and believe in you always, and I hope you feel the same way."

Heero sniffled. Relena wasn't acting like he'd expected. When he was with J, if he told someone what J had done, they'd blame it on him.

"I'll trust you forever, Relena."

-- --

(1 month later.)

Christmas was on its way, and with it brought friends. Relena had been true to her word and constantly stayed by his side. Nothing seemed to keep her from him, well nothing except the most important of meetings, and she always made time to talk with him on the phone while she was out. He had finally begun to smile and involve himself in group activities with his friends and Relena. And in both their views, they were becoming the best of friends. He trusted Relena with all sorts of secrets now, things he'd never dare tell another living soul, she'd listen, then she'd talk to him, and then she'd find a way to get his mind off of it. They went out to the park a lot. Heero would be in his wheelchair, and Relena would drag along Duo or Quatre if she could. But it always seemed that Trowa would find his way to them.

"Well, Heero, ol' buddy ol' pal, we got a big present for you, it's from all of us," Duo piped up after they had all calmed down after a joke Wufei had told. "We're all hoping you like it."

Relena smiled at him, he smiled back. It was a week before Christmas and he hadn't expected getting a present early. Nevertheless he was a bit excited to be with his friends and be able to know them once again. Relena was the one to deliver his present.

"Now, Heero, I know this was a long shot to get you," she started, sounding a bit nervous.

"Unless you're telling me you've got a boyfriend, I don't think it'll bug me too much," Heero joked with her. They all broke out laughing at Heero's sudden joke.

"Nope. I'm still all for you, Heero," Relena replied, smiling as usual. "Well, now it's time to give you your present. For Christmas this year we've all pitched in together to buy you your much needed operation."

Heero gaped at her. He'd always been much too poor to afford the operation. She was giving him a new chance at life, no, all his friends were giving him this new chance at life. There was no way he could refuse. His face went from stunned to happy within a few seconds. This was the best thing he could ever have been given.

"Thank you, Relena, everyone. I can't believe I might actually be getting my second chance at life!" he exclaimed, leaping into Relena's arms. There were tears of happiness streaking down his face. "I can't believe you guys. I never knew what great friends I had until now. Well I knew how great you all were, but this is just too much."

"Nothing's too great for you. You're our best friend, Heero. All together we'll stick this one through," Quatre cried happily, showing Heero how happy he was that his friend was going to live. "Plus, it was all Relena's idea. She deserves most all the credit."

Heero held Relena tightly. He'd never felt better. Not only did she spend a month taking full care of him, but now she was helping him live his life out. Sure, he'd self-detonated a few times before, not caring if he died or not, but now all that mattered was living, and being with those he loved.

-- --

(1 week later.)

Relena stood at Heero's bedside a few minutes before he had to go in for the operation. A smile was pasted on her face. The others were waiting in the lobby for Relena to come out so they could go out and eat, but she stayed there. She held his hand tightly. He'd confessed to her his fears about the operation, and Relena promised him she wouldn't leave until he came out and was conscious again.

"So you see, Heero, I'll wait for you the entire time. Nothing can keep me from staying here, near you," Relena promised him. 'Don't you worry. I'll always be near,' she thought, recalling her promise to him.

"I know. I trust you, and your word. I know you won't leave the hospital because I need you," Heero whispered in return, the drug was taking full effect now.

Heero tried to force his eyes to stay open, but they wouldn't. Relena leaned over and kissed him. It wasn't a light kiss, she came onto him heavy-duty, despite how she knew he worried about it. But none of it seemed to bother him. He kissed her back to the best he could, before he was dragged off for the operation.

"I love you, Heero!" Relena called down the hall to him. He murmured a reply, but it wasn't too clear.

-- --

(1 year later.)

Heero smiled as he caught Duo's pass. He easily passed Wufei, Trowa, and Quatre, then slam-dunked the basketball. He did his little victory dance, kissed his fiancée, and continued playing basket ball.

"Hard to believe that's my Heero, isn't it?" Relena asked Hilde. They both laughed. 'I love how this turned out. I'm marrying Heero, we're all close friends now. What don't we have?' she thought happily. Heero walked over to her suddenly. "What ya want?"

"You," he replied, wrapping his arms around her, and bringing her into a long ardent kiss that made them both smile. "I'll love you forever."

"I'll be with you to love forever," Relena replied, pulling him back into the kiss. The game continued without Heero, Hilde took his place. The two lovebirds stayed together in complete happiness till the day ended.

Hope you all liked the story. I know that it's totally sappy, and I know that there's lots of OOC, sue me if ya don't like it! (j/k!)

Makami


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